Yeah....Whatever

Been Awhile......WOW

2009-11-06T21:37:00.002-05:00

Wow, I haven't posted on this blog in three years. Life has been interesting! There have been a lot of changes and constants. I've been laid off and since have completed an Associates Degree in Accounting. Currently, I'm working on obtaining a BS in Accounting.

My life has revolved around school and dealing with some health issues. The pain in my feet turned out to be plantar fascitis and heel spurs. So, with that being said I haven't been exercising at all. It hurts to walk! I've been in pain for 3 years and nothing works, other than not using them. But, I'm tired of the weight I've gained back, so I'm in the process of coming up with a game plan that doesn't include cutting out all junk food, salt, carbs and fat!

Will definitely be after the holidays. Will make for an interesting New Years Resolution!

Bad Timing!!!!!!

2006-04-24T01:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm trying to get my stuff together. I have to start eating right, work out regularly, be motivated and positive, read goals, yada yada, etc......Yeah Whatever. I have to first lose those three pounds that I picked up. Well, I thought that I was off to a good start........But, who shows up other than my bitchy friend from hell!!!!!!

Man, talk about BAD TIMING. I was kicking major ass this week, but I ended the week eating everything I shouldn't have.The scale is up and down so I'll wait awhile before weighing myself. I need to take some pictures so I can horrify myself when I see exactly where those three pounds went to. Talk about something that makes you unmotivated. I just want to crawl in bed and not come out until its gone and over with.

At least something positive will come out of it. I usually become a cardio demon because it helps take my mind off of my really bad cramps and keeps me from killing my family. And since I have to go and get fitted for my gown for my sis-in-laws wedding, I won't be carrying around tons of water weight.

Eventhough it's that TOM, I am so prepared for this week. Workout plan is in order, food is prepared and I'm ready to go. Everything else in my life is boring, boring and even more boring. Sleep, kids and work and I try to fit my hubby in there somewhere. Speaking of hubby he's come down to get me.....gotta go!!!!!

Quick Update

2006-04-15T16:21:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone just started working out again. Everything has been so busy and so much has been going on. Things are a little crazy around here and I can't wait until June. I'll be off work for a few months and I'll have some breathing room.
I gained three pounds while waiting on my foot to heal. Still not 100%, but it's better. Still have some pain while doing certain workouts. Eating while not working out was horrendous. With me I think it's more mental. As long as I workout I eat okay. But when I'm not working out all bets are off.
I don't get to spend much time on the computer that's why I haven't been updating or reading to many blogs. I did get to check out several blogs the other day. And I actually went on Tracker. I haven't been on there since February.
So I'll try to update more often and check on what's going on in everyone's life.

Six Weeks????

2006-03-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm seriously missing my computer time. Home sick and feeling a bit better so I finally have time for a quick update. Oh how the mighty have fallen........ Went to the Dr.'s on Friday to find that I sprained something in my foot probably during a workout, which is when I first noticed the pain. So my lovely doc tells me to lay off the workouts for six weeks. When I stopped looking at her like she was crazy I asked her to clarify what stop meant. Okay, stop meant to stop anything that would aggravate my foot. WALKING aggravates my damn foot. I've been in the house scheming on how I'll get my workout in without my husband going ballistic and calling me crazy. There is no way I cannot workout for six weeks. I'll be a short ball of fat in no time. Yeah.....Whatever. NO DAMN WAY!!!

Now, I haven't worked out since like Wednesday or Thursday. I already feel fat and lazy. I think I've weighed myself like twice a day since Friday. Mind you I not the cleanest of eaters. I've been having a hard time with meal restrictions lately. Happy to report that I'm still the same weight I've been for the past six or seven weeks. So someone tell me how can I lose 10lbs by the months end if I can't workout like I want and can't seem to eat like I need to.

Now, I have to get creative with my LBWO. UBWO are fine I can do a lot of stuff seated or reclined. So, I won't be able to really push the lower, but I refuse to lay off completely. So, I'll just wait until my hubby leaves for work and them workout. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I should do what the doc said and stay off it so it will heal better and faster yada yada yada. BUT six weeks, damn she's killing me with that time frame. Two or three weeks yeah, I can struggle to eat 100% for 2-3 but six. I'm not sure that I really want to test myself.

Was supposed to start Yoga but guess that's out. My balance is almost non-existent. I've already compiled some LBWO that I can do without aggravating my foot or my husband. But, my favorites are out. Oh well I'm a big girl I'll get over it. Right???

Gotta go want to check out some blogs before I have to crawl back to bed.

Haven't fallen.....

2006-02-20T17:15:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!!!! Thanks guys for checking on me.

To the ones who became concerned, no I haven't fallen off. I work a seasonal job and lately my time has been eaten up with trying to keep up. I work at night so during the day I'm asleep them I jump up so that I can work out, grab the kids from school, do homework, cook dinner, etc. I just haven't found my balance yet. I'm usually stay up when I get home, but miraculously I've been going to sleep as soon as I get in at 3am. So, I'm finding that I don't have a lot of computer time. I miss reading you guys blogs and posting on Tracker. The weekends have been eaten up with one obligation after another. So, I find myself with a small time frame today since I have off for the holiday. But, I still have loads of laundry to finish so here's an update on my little world.

I have been managing to workout almost everyday. In addition to weights and other cardio I've been doing step aerobics and I found a kickboxing bootcamp DVD that is awesome. I doubt if my weight has moved much because my eating has been seriously off. I'm only managing to eat clean about 80% of the time. I've become tired of chicken breast, turkey breast, etc. I've taken to eating tuna, nuts, string cheese and apples. While this makes me very regular, I know I'm gonna get tired of these things. In addition to all of this we've had so many birthdays and social functions these past two months. We've eaten out almost every other week. And I've been indulging myself when we do. BAD GIRL!!!!!!

I'm trying to get everything in order so that I can get back to a somewhat normal routine. All of the extras are throwing me off and I'm not seeing any progress. I'm not journaling to much because I find that I place extreme pressure and stress on myself to do everything perfectly and on schedule. I need to be a little less rigid and more fluid so I wing it and mentally journal my workouts. Still working on the food issue. I'm gonna have to carve out a time to prepare lots of different foods to store and hope this helps me get back on track. Usually this is what keeps me on track because I'm always rushing out the door on my way to work. So if I have something already prepared I can just grab it and go. Sounds reasonable but I'll have to wait and see what happens. Sometimes all of that free will God gave me gets in the way.

My new goal for the next 4 weeks is to lose 10lbs. It sucks being stuck at the same weight. I want to get out of the 150's and into the 140's bringing me closer to my goal weight. I can tell that I'm getting content because I've been buying clothes. I'm not gonna buy another darn thing until I can fit into a size 8. I still refuse to post pics because there is no visible change from January. So with my new goals in mind I plan on posting pics at the end of March. Man that alone should keep me eating clean.

Gotta go, but before I do I gotta give a shout out to Jess!!! Girl you are doing it , doing it, and doing it well!!!!! You go girl! Your results are greeeeaaaaaattttt!

The Old Me

2006-02-03T15:51:00.000-05:00

In this photo you see the old me. I have never shown or shared this picture with anyone else. When I saw this picture it finally hit home of how big I had gotten. Mind you I've only been small once and that was under extreme stress. But somehow this picture really hit home with me. Maybe because I was sitting next to one of my beautiful little girls. I don't want my girls to grow up and think that it is okay to be unhealthy. Right now they are very fit and healthy and I want them to carry that into their adult lives. So who knows why this one particular fat picture of me was the catalyst for me to begin my journey. I just thank God that I was given a chance to change my life.

OK....I think I got it?????

2006-01-31T16:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, I think I got it now! Lately I've been stuck in this crazy funk, but with help I'm doing much better. I've been using my free time to reflect and refresh myself. My husband has somehow become so enlightened. We have been having the most amazing conversations. While he has always been my greatest fan, he has become even more supportive.

This thing I've been going through has been more than just fitness related. It's been some personal junk going on with me and inside of me. I think my husband recognized this hence the conversations. Lately, I've been evolving into who I am. What I mean by this is that I've always been just mom or wife(teenage pregnancy and I married at 20 and had 3 more kids). While I love my family beyond measure, I never have time to be just Tonya. Lately, I haven't been taking any time for myself other than working out. And it really has taken a toll on me. So I've come to the realization that Tonya has to have some time to just be.

So as this revelation began to take root I began to feel at peace and less insane. I used to feel guilty anytime I wanted to to things without my platoon. I had everything put down to just being in a fitness funk. But while I am starting to plateau, I can handle that. As long as I have my mind on board and my soul is fulfilled the body will follow.

So with this being said I want to thank everyone who responded to my cry for help. Your comments was well received and much appreciated. I have a come up with a new attack plan.
I will be taking things 4 weeks at a time. I will not weigh or measure myself until that time is up. Less pressure that way. I have a new workout plan and new motivation. I have only set one goal for my 4 week period. I will do my personal best to eat clean and complete my workout plans.

I have convinced my sister in law and mother in law to workout with me. We had a great LBWO this morning. I had to take it easy(eventhough my sis in law insisted that I'm trying to kill her) on them so I'll probably be working out by myself a little later before my date with hubby. But, it is exciting having someone want you to help them achieve their fitness goals. This is my big motivator. I have other family members and friends who want to come and work out with me. My basement isn't big enough for everybody so I have to come up with a schedule for everyone. Most of them have led a sedentary life so to get them started moving I gave them copies of Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds. It has 1,2 and 3 mile walks with weights. It'll get them off the couch at home. And I went shopping today with inlaws to get them some fitness equipment for home. This is going to be so much fun working out with them. I usually workout with my husband and kids. But being able to watch and take part in their transformations is priceless. I just want to see and remember the look on their faces when they achieve their goals.

What Am I Crazy?

2006-01-25T02:06:00.000-05:00

Okay here's the scenario. I've been managing to eat clean and do my workouts, but(isn't there always a but) I still feel frustrated by this challenge. I'm checking out other profiles and scrutinizing my progress journal and I still think that I'm doing bad. Um could I be hitting that dreaded plateau?

I haven't really been on Tracker or checked out any of the other articles and things that I normally seek out. I think I'm going crazy or I must've already arrived. I know, I know that results are not instantaneous, but my mind has me so screwed right now. I am such a mental case right now. I mean my crazy ass knows enough to keep working out and eating clean, what in the hell is up with the mind games I'm playing with myself. I didn't even have that many calories on free day. I usually allow myself a little spike in caloric intake, but the only thing I really ate bad was two hushpuppies(fried cornmeal) and a small piece of birthday cake, with no icing.

I've been feeling really bad and I don't know what to do to kick this funk. I love to write so for me not to have even posted here is a definite sign that I need help. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!!!!!!! Maybe I just need a good screaming cry. And then it'll be time to suck it up and keep fighting. Or maybe I'll just smash all of the mirrors and/or reflective surfaces in my house. That'll only confirm my husbands suspicions that I'm nuts. Yeah........Whatever

My husband has come looking for me, so I'll finish my rant later....................

Doing Just Fine

2006-01-19T16:56:00.000-05:00

The week is almost over and I'm doing just fine. I have eaten clean all week and I have worked out everyday. What more can you ask for? Well I can find a whole lot more to ask for.... A flat stomach, toned arms, a smaller butt, etc. Today I haven't done cardio yet, but I will. I'm focusing on a smaller waistline, slimmer hips and a smaller butt. I'm visualizing these things and working hard.

I don't think that my insomnia is helping out. It seems like I don't have enough time in my day to complete things. By the time I wake up it seems like I've wasted the whole day. I've been like this for so long that no one thinks anything of it. But it drives me nuts. I makes me feel like I'm not normal. My husband just looks at me and says that the bed sleeps two. He actually just comes wherever I'm at and tells me to come to bed. But I can't lay down in a bed and can't sleep. Sometimes I just give in and take medication, but I loathe doing this. Yeah......Whatever.

My husband and I watched a show about people up and disappearing and I told him I was gonna just up and leave. He lovingly told me to take some of the bills with me. HA!!!!! While I may get really stressed sometimes dealing with home life, I don't think that I would be able to walk away from my family. They drive me crazy sometimes, but the love I have for my family always keeps me grounded. Knowing that we can work through anything and love each other enough to try.

And on a completely different note I am so chicken of posting my pics on tracker. I took my week 0 pics, but I don't wanna post them until I have some comparison pics to post with them. I won't even look at them. I really want to see certain changes. Flatter abs, more muscle definition, etc. I'm working hard on reducing my BF. I'm trying to reduce it by 10 more percent. Which will make it acceptable to me. Here's to Challenges.....................

Oh yeah I had a banana last night....the horrors!!!!!!!!

And Moving On

2006-01-16T23:37:00.000-05:00

Man was the weekend crappy. Had a visit from an unwanted friend. I think I ate an entire bag(yes the whole damn thing) of caramel nut clusters. And before that I ate 4 pkgs of chocolate sandwich cookies. And this about sums up my meal plans for the weekend. I had absolutely no appetite except for junk. I may have consumed 4 or 5 clean meals. It started Friday and didn't end until Sunday night. Am I a model BFL'er or what? And if anyone would've said something I probably would've snapped the hell out.

Now, on a positive note I did workout like a mad woman(after I woke up of course). Physical activity is supposed to help with cramps. I think I wore my elliptical out. And I walked so many miles with the chatty Leslie Sansone my DVD stopped working in the player and I had to use a different player. I consumed tons of water to try and keep the bloat away, yeah right still bloated.

And moving on.......Today was lovely. I actually enjoyed my workout(s) today. My 4 sometimes wonderful kids worked out with me. They had some circuit training going on. They peacefully and patiently moved from apparatus to apparatus. Never once getting in my way and sometimes actually helping out. It was a very enjoyable workout.
I managed 30 minutes on the elliptical and then had an excellent UBWO. I can feel the back fat melting away. If only the belly and thigh fat would cooperate, I would be one happy lady.
No chocolate in sight today and that's all I got to say about that.

My husband and kids got me the Firm Transfirmer Series for my birthday and I have been slowly incorporating these workouts into my routine. Now, let me start by saying that I have never done step aerobics in my life. Now, imagine how pretty that picture is. Me struggling my butt off trying to keep up with these girls. HA!!!! This one DVD really kicks my ass!! The instructor obviously assumes you have done this before and she just gives you instructions and expects you to do them. Yeah.....Whatever. The other two are manageable. And these chicks are really into doing planks and side planks. I'm making everyone in the house do them with me.
My eight year old daughter who I might add is very lean and athletic can do almost anything. This child even does pullups and pushups(even one armed). She's my GI Jane. She's who I aspire to be, except with a little more weight. She's really small only like 50 pounds. But this kid is amazingly fit. It's almost disgusting! She does not get this from her momma.

Only Time Will Tell.......

2006-01-16T00:30:00.000-05:00

Who knows why I do what I do? Nobody! So after hours of reading various BFL'ers Blogs, didn't I go and create one. Who needs one more blog to read. And as hard as I try, I can't even keep up with the list of bloggers I have on my to "read" list. Seriously I have a list. So for me to go and do this..... I truly don't need a space where I go uncensored. In the eyes of my friends and family I'm a little opinionated and a lot stubborn.

But hey only time will tell...............................